My dear friend, Matilda,

has the oddest of habits.

She throws shoes.

We were at Starbucks

socially sipping

when out of nowhere she took off a shoe,

a Manolo no less,

and chucked that sucker across the room,

almost blinding an unsuspecting barista.

Now, I’m a good southern girl,

and as such,

I am forgiving of a certain amount of idiosyncrasy.

However,

blind baristas are not my cup of tea.

After the brouhaha settled,

and Matilda retrieved her Manolo

I asked her,

“What’s the deal?”

She answered quite calmly.

“That man was staring at me. 

You know,

the cute one over there with the dimples.

Well,

it’s very simple really.

I’ve found, if I’m the one throwing the shoes,

I don’t have to worry about when

the

            other

                        one

                                    will

                                                drop.”

(c) Sandra Perry 2003